The Power of Staying: The Brotherhood That the Transfer Portal Can’t Replace

A former Big Sky MVP attends her first Big Sky Kickoff weekend to find if loyalty still means something.

Out of Place, but Right Where I Belonged

I walked into the Big Sky Football Kickoff wearing a media badge, not a uniform. I was credentialed through FCS Nation Radio, covering the event for the first time.

Some of the other media did double takes. A few had covered me 25 years ago, when I wore #45 for Montana. Others knew me from my time coaching high school ball or helping promote The House That Rob Built movie. It didn’t take long for my media friends to go from double takes to “you got this,” so I took some deep breaths and got to work.

The natural question arose: what was I doing there? It’s been decades since I played in this league. Here’s the overview: five seasons, one torn rotator cuff surgery, four NCAA tournaments, four Big Sky Conference Championship banners/rings, Big Sky MVP, Kodak All-American Honorable Mention honor. That was before the portal. Before college sports got crowded with quick exits and instant decisions. I stayed. Not because it was strategic, but because it’s what we did, and that decision built something that stuck. Plus we were being coached by now Big Sky Hall of Fame and Grizzly Athletic Hall of Famer, Rob Selvig. I wouldn’t have left then or even today, if he was still coaching.

Since then, I’ve made a career out of helping high school athletes find their fit. I’ve built a business while staying connected to the Big Sky Conference through my own lens, and going into this media day, I held close the idea that loyalty still builds legacies.

I wasn’t there just for the media coverage. I was there to see this event through the perspective of someone who lived what staying looked like, who has had her life altered in so many positive ways because of what I learned from doing that, and who now helps athletes understand how finding the right fit can change your entire career and life. I was there to see if loyalty still means anything in today’s game.

The 6AM Brotherhood

Montana offensive lineman Dillon Botner, #60 from Whitefish, Montana, captures this perfectly as he pauses, searching for words that can capture what most people will never understand.

“You’re up at six in the morning during winter conditioning, running, screaming, puking… and you look over at your buddies and you’re… why are we doing this? Then you run out of that tunnel Saturday game day, and you see all those fans that are there for you, and you realize, this is why. This is why we have those hard times so we have this. You can’t have the good without the bad.”

I know that feeling. I cringed as I thought back to all the M runs or mountain biking trips for preseason “conditioning.” The one where your lungs are on fire and your legs won’t move and the only thing keeping you upright is the guy or gal next to you who’s in the exact same hell.

Eastern Washington defensive back DaJean Wells, #3 from Seattle, who has earned preseason All-Conference and All-American honors, remembers back when he was homesick his first year. He told me he drove home every weekend he could. Something shifted during those winter mornings when nobody was watching. “I quickly got out of that, because it was just the work that I was putting in… knowing my teammates were doing the exact same thing, and we’re all headed to the same goal. I want to do this for them, and they’re doing it for me.”

That’s the thing you can’t replicate, the shared struggle that creates something bigger than football. When you’ve suffered through 6 AM winter mornings with the same people for four-plus years, when you’ve had each other’s backs through every brutal moment, injuries, bad practices, really tough losses, that becomes your foundation.

Weber State defensive tackle Matt Herron, #97 from Holladay, Utah, gets it. “Once I got to Weber State, just the connections I made with my teammates, especially in that D tackle room, there’s a lot of great guys in there that are going to be lifelong friends. Season to season, just looking forward to playing with those guys again, is one of the main factors in keeping me there.”

That’s four or five years of shared struggle. Five or six years of walking the same halls from freshman year to donning the graduation cap together. That builds something special.

What Loyalty Looks Like When No One’s Watching

Portland State defensive lineman Spencer Elliott, #56 from Bend, Oregon. His journey to Portland State looked like this: exactly one scholarship offer to play. Oregon State wanted him as a preferred walk-on fullback. He’d never played fullback in his life.

“I was pretty under recruited. I’m from Bend Oregon, which is three hours south and central Oregon. Not a lot of coaches make it out there… so being from that area, in high school, my team had a lot of success. We won the Oregon State Championship… but it was still hard.”

Then Portland State showed up. “They came down and visited me at my school and they offered me a scholarship position. Took my visit, and that was when I realized these guys believe in me. Were the first ones to offer me the position, and that meant a lot to me.”

Three years later, he’s still in Portland. Still grinding. Still believing in the coach who saw something everyone else missed.

Elliott has stayed because of something you can’t get anywhere else: the knowledge that someone saw you first, believed in you first, invested in you first. Cal Poly preseason all-conference wide receiver Michael Briscoe, #10 from Vacaville, California, understands that kind of commitment. The preseason All-Conference redshirt senior has watched his program build from nothing.

“We didn’t have the fanciest of things, so we kind of had that chip on our shoulder, like when I first got there, we were kind of working outside, and then we were in a tent, and now we’re getting the fitness center built.”

But it’s more than facilities. It’s ownership. When you build something from the ground up together, it becomes yours in a way that nothing else ever can.

Cal Poly preseason All-Conference defensive lineman Ethan Rodriguez, #60 from Whittier, California, stayed because the investment felt real from day one. “Cal Poly, all the coaches were always reaching out to me, asking how I was doing. It felt like a family thing as well… they were super inviting.”

That’s what a legacy and loyalty starts to look like!

The Fan Connection and the Long Goodbye

Picture this: a fan in the stands wearing a tattered jersey. Not because it’s new or trendy, but because they’ve watched that player grow from nervous freshman to senior leader. They’ve cheered through the struggles, celebrated the victories, invested emotionally in that journey.

I remember the fan I saw my entire career at Montana. Same white beard, same Lady Griz gear, always first in line when I’d walk into the Adams Center two hours before tipoff. During games, he sat in the front row, right across from the bench, same seat every night.

But my senior year, when the Adams got renovated and the lower level, prime location seats became reserved, he wasn’t down front anymore. I never knew why. All I know is that same smile was now up in the second level. It was harder to hear his cheers, but I still looked for him.

Our fans were different. They weren’t just loud, they were loyal. They were our sixth man. They knew when to rattle the bleachers, when to work the refs, when we needed energy. And off the court? I never felt like I had to talk to them. I wanted to.

You feel moments like that. So do your teammates. Nearly every former Lady Griz will tell you the same thing: the fans made it matter more.

Portland State tight end Tanner Beaman, #10 from Vancouver, Washington, a preseason All-Conference junior, gets that connection. “Ever since I showed up at Portland State, I’ve had nothing but opportunities from the coaching staff, belief in me, and I was just I’ve always been wanted at that program. I’m a firm believer. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”

That #10 jersey in the stands represents continuity in an age of borrowed players. When fans invest in a player for four or five years, watching them grow, fail, improve, and eventually succeed, that creates something special.

The Long Burn Creates Legends

When a player stays five years, they don’t just build their own legacy. They become the heartbeat of an entire community.

Weber State offensive lineman Gavin Ortega, #71 from Bellingham, Washington, a preseason All-Conference player who made the journey from “almost in Canada,” found something that made the distance worth it.

“For me, it’s a lot of coaches. So even though we’ve had coaching staff change, the Weber program hires God-fearing men throughout all the staff. It’s not just your coaches, it’s people beyond coaches. Not every day is a great day, but if you don’t have a good structure of mentors around you, you don’t make it.”

That structure doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through daily interactions, through coaches who know they can invest in players as people.

DaJean Wells found that brotherhood at Eastern Washington. “When I came here, it was honestly the brotherhood of… just the people I met, just like people in my position group. I just knew… these are so many guys I’m forever going to talk to, and I still do, even older guys… I still talk to some of them once a week.”

That’s culture. That’s legacy. That’s what coaches work their entire careers trying to build.

Eastern Washington graduate student quarterback Jared Taylor, #15 from North Lakewood, Washington, learned the value of the long burn the hard way.

“The hard days are what make you good. You can’t expect to live easy if you don't go through hard times. You can either live an easy life now and live a hard life later, or you can work hard now and live an easy life later.”

JUCO saved him, but more importantly, it taught him that shortcuts don’t work.

“The person I was in high school and the person I was when I left community college were two different people, my mindset, the way I worked, the way I thought about things, the confidence in myself.”

Now at Eastern Washington, he understands what most fans or high school athletes never see.

“It is a lot of work, and it’s a lot of work that isn’t even physical. It’s all mental, learning playbooks, watching film, learning how to do things the way our coaches want us to do things.”

When players embrace that hard road together, for years, something magical happens. Record books get rewritten by players who’ve mastered the same system for half a decade.

What Coaches Are Really Looking For

There’s no exact science to how college coaches find the ones who stick. But after a decade in the recruiting world and three years helping athletes find their fit, I’ve learned this: the best insights don’t show up on Twitter. They come from conversations that rarely make it past the office door. That’s what I went looking for at Big Sky Media Days. I wanted the truth about what actually moves the needle in recruiting. What matters to these coaches? What gets in the way?

Aaron Best settles into his chair like he’s about to tell you something your parents never did. In his eighth year at Eastern Washington, he’s seen enough recruiting cycles to know where the bodies are buried.

(2017) https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2017/jan/23/new-coach-aaron-best-impresses-at-eastern-washingt/

“We try to stay away from measurables to some degree, because those are the easiest to obtain, but numbers don’t make plays. The hardest part in evaluating someone, whether it’s a football player or a significant other, is identifying the non-physical traits. Ninety percent of my conversations with recruits have nothing to do with football. I want to know who they are. I want organic answers.”

This isn’t coach-speak. This is a man who’s learned that talent without character is fool’s gold and he doesn’t just stop getting to know athletes once they sign on the dotted line. Every Thursday, without fail, every quarterback from starter, to backup, to scout team, sits on his couch. No playbooks. No film. Just conversation.

“We talk. No football. I get to know the human, because I see the player every day.” Bruce Barnum has been doing this for eleven years at Portland State, long enough to develop radar for red flags.

“I pay attention to red flags,” he says matter-of-factly. “If you’ve been to five high schools or your parents dominate every phone call, that’s a concern. I need to hear the athlete’s voice, not just the parent’s.”

Mickey Mental is in his second season at Weber State, for him the foundation matters more than the finish.

“Your first semester as a freshman in high school, whether you believe it or not, is just as important as your eighth semester as a senior. The better grades you have, the more opportunities you can have. The worse GPA you have, now you’re closing doors.”

But Mental’s evaluation process goes deeper than transcripts. When he’s sizing up a recruit, he casts a wide net for character references. “I don’t go to street agents. I don’t go to trainers. I go to the head coach of the football program. I go to counselors. I go to teachers. Sometimes I go to janitors. How you treat people is important.”

Best doesn’t dance around the elephant in the room. Eight years at Eastern Washington and years in the recruiting game, has taught him that sometimes the biggest obstacle isn’t the competition or the budget, it’s the people who should be helping most. “I think parents sometimes are the biggest impediment to recruiting,”

But parents aren’t his only headache. High school coaches present their own challenges when they oversell their players. Best’s advice to high school coaches is brutally simple: stop the sales pitch. “Your receiver’s not the next Cooper Kupp. I get that every year, ‘Oh, I got a guy that you coach, Jared Taylor. I got a guy that’s better than Jared.’ No one ever got worse in 25 years. No one ever said ‘I have a worse Jared Taylor.’ Everybody’s better.”

The frustration is real, and so is the solution: “Just be honest.” Barnum has his own version of this conversation, but his frustration runs toward high school coaches who’ve forgotten that recruiting is built on trust, not just words.

“If I show up at an 8-man football school and you’re recommending 12 kids to me, I know something’s off,” he says laughing. “If you want me to keep coming back year after year, don’t lie to me.” It’s a simple equation: reputation plus honesty equals access. Break that formula, and doors close fast.

Advice to the Ones Coming Up

Every player I spoke with said some version of the same thing: trust the process, but know it’s going to be harder than you think.

Montana defensive lineman Kellen Detrick, #47 from Havre, Montana, a senior who stayed in-state, had the most important message for high school players.

“I would just say to the kids that are in high school that are so worried about getting recruited, be where your feet are. Don’t rush getting into college. Life is good for them. They are in the good old days and they don’t even know it. Soak it in. Enjoy where you are and the other stuff is going to come.”

He’s also not being naive about the work required. “You can prepare all that you want for college football, but however hard you want to prepare, you’re not gonna be prepared when you show up. Just train, train. It’s gonna be a lot.”

Portland State’s Tanner Beaman lives by a simple philosophy. “I think one piece of advice I’d give is just don’t let the day go by where you’re not working on at least one thing that’ll help you get better at your game. Even if it’s something small, something that I can do to better my game.”

But when the bad days come, and they will come, Beaman has learned to handle them.

“I’m a competitor, so I don’t like losing. If I have a bad practice, it weighs on me throughout the rest of the day, but as soon as I get the next opportunity, I just have to flush it and have a good mindset, knowing that I have another opportunity.”

Cal Poly’s Michael Briscoe emphasizes the importance of having people you can trust.

“Do what’s right for you and what’s best for you. Talk to your parents, talk to your advisors, the mentors that you could take advice from. The support system is huge. You need a good, strong support system because one person can only do so much.”

His aunt, who ran in the Olympics, became his most trusted advisor. “My parents never played any collegiate sports, so they don’t know what’s right. So I go to my aunt a lot because she’s been to the next level.”

Weber State’s Matt Herron learned recruiting the hard way. “There’s a lot you don’t see when I was trying to get recruited. A lot of it was spent on Twitter, just sending hundreds and hundreds of DMs to coaches.” His advice? Go to camps where coaches can see you in person.

“Weber State runs a camp every year where they bring in four other colleges and their coaches. They all come in and they’re all watching you play. That camp, for me specifically, was a really big one that got me to Weber State.”

The bottom line from all these players: you are going to have hard days and find people who believe in you first, then prove them right over years, not months.

Built Here

It’s not just player movement we’re losing. It’s the death of the long story. The slow build. The idea that some things are worth building for over years, not months.

In my era at Montana, I don’t remember one player leaving our program. We played for the same coach all five years, built something together, suffered through the same winter mornings, and celebrated the same victories.

I came in my freshman year with Krista Redpath from Great Falls, Montana, who wore #25, Megan Harrington from Missoula who wore jersey #24, and Meg Thompson, #23, from Laramie, Wyoming. Five years later, we walked across that graduation stage together.

The same group that had stumbled through those first practices, figured out college life together, leaned on each other through every injury, every loss, celebrated every victory. We left with four rings and a massive win tally, but I truly don’t think we would have gotten as far without struggling together and having each other to lean on. From freshman dorms to senior leadership to graduation caps, that complete journey creates something irreplaceable.

Twenty-five years later, I’m still connected to teammates who shared those 6 AM winter mornings with me. We text about our kids, our careers, our lives built on the foundation of what we suffered through together.

That fan who used to hold the door open for me? I still think about him. The coach who believed in a kid from Billings, MT? He’s still part of my life. These Big Sky players understand something profound. When you commit to the long burn, when you choose building over quick moves, you don’t just develop as a player. You become part of something that lasts long after the jersey gets turned in and the lights go out. That’s not just about football. That’s about becoming the kind of person who finishes what they start, who honors commitments when they get hard, who understands that the most valuable things in life are built over time. They’re building legacies. And legacies, by definition, last forever.

Note from Linda: I got through this event because of many of the experienced media helping me feel like I belonged. I was supported by some incredible FCS Nation interns, all of whom I feel are going to do great things and FCS Nation is lucky to have them. To Kevin Marshall #15, who has taken time to learn about what I do and for trusting me to bring him a story from my perspective at this event, thank you. Lastly, thank you to the Big Sky Conference players and coaches, who met me with respect and were so gracious. Being part of this event, even if it was minimal, will be something I will remember forever.

Linda Weyler Jacobson is a former Big Sky Conference MVP, four-time NCAA tournament qualifier, member of the 1000 point club, who played for Big Sky Conference and Grizzly Athletic Hall of Famer, Rob Selvig at the University of Montana. She now helps high school athletes, in all sports, across multiple states, navigate college recruiting using her proven techniques, authentic approach and above all, honesty. LWJ College Fit Consulting was founded three years ago, in honor of her late mother and she has achieved a 100% success rate while helping families earn over $2M in scholarships. You can learn more or contact her for info about her services at www.lwjvideo.com